The home as a holy place

There is beauty all around When there’s love at home; There is joy in ev’ry sound When there’s love at home.

I still remember when I first heard this song. I was around 4 or 5 years old. I had just watched my mom and dad get baptized and when they went deep inside the water and came back up something inside me made me cry tears of joy. I felt as though they had done something good, something beautiful, and I was the happiest I had ever been. We sang the song after they got baptized and that good feeling came over me again. I was happy as I sang those words, but more importantly, I felt that what I was singing was true. 

Since then I knew in my heart that happiness and joy were dependent on the love we had at home with our families. I know it sounds weird to believe that a kid of five years old would know that, but I vividly remember that moment and the beautiful feelings that those words ignited and how close to God I felt at that moment. So, when I met my husband and got married, I knew that I wanted to make my home a place of love where the spirit of God could dwell and therefore make it a holy place where we could worship our Heavenly Father and teach our kids to love Him the way we felt His love for us. 

Needless to say, it took me praying-a lot-and reading the scriptures by myself on a daily basis to know how to do that which God does on a regular basis with us: guide us, teach us and love us. It was not an easy task to say the least, but Dave and I found two things that helped us navigate family life with our littles. The first was to have scripture night every night. The second was to draw from the teachings of Christ to discipline our kids. The house rules and the consequences I  created were based upon Christ’s teachings and every action had a consequence whether good or bad. Yes, I had house rules and consequences; I knew that if I raised my kids in an environment where their actions had consequences they would learn to make the correct choices, that we loved them, and most importantly that God loved them. 

Reading the scriptures regularly with our kids was not always perfect because sometimes they took that time to talk to one another, act silly, or just refuse to engage. Although this was not always the case, it was often enough to try mine and Dave’s patience, but as we continued to make those efforts every day He guided us and encouraged us to keep trying and at times helped us know how to make that time entertaining and spiritual at the same time. We encouraged them to be silly and have fun and then eased on with a song to read the scriptures. As they got older, we encouraged them to ask questions and for their opinion and thoughts on what we read.

As we learned about Christ together, we enforced good behavior, respect, and love for others. Everything about life can be learned through the scriptures. When reading them with the kids, I was able to see how much they gravitated and enjoyed learning about Christ and how pure their hearts were. They hung to our every word as we read and enjoyed being together with us as we studied and encouraged and challenged them and ourselves  to act as Christ throughout the week. We acted on those challenges and so did they. We never extended a challenge or invited them to do something we were not already doing or going to attempt to do with them. Doing this allowed me to see my children as God sees them and saw how well they exemplified Christ's love in and outside of the home.

Studying the scriptures with them helped us know Christ's teachings and how to use them in the raising of our kids. Treating our children fairly and with respect was one thing David and I agreed on immediately.  If one kid got something, the other kids would as well. If we gave one kid attention, we would make sure they all had our attention. We took turns listening to each of them, spending time with them, and showing them affection. This made them realize that they were all equally loved and cared for.  Making sure they all felt heard, seen, and loved helped us create a place where they all knew that we loved them and more importantly feel how important they were to us and God.

Using the teachings of Christ helped us how to discipline our children because we applied the basic principles of the gospel. We learned quickly that we wanted them to feel loved and understand why there was a punishment or why they could not do certain things. If discipline must come from a place of love so that the kid knows they are not being punished without good reason, then I had to make sure that I was constantly on my knees in prayer asking for guidance as to how to make them understand and discipline with love. It  was tricky at times. I did not always discipline effectively, and I'm sure that my oldest was not always feeling my love, but I did attempt to make almost every discipline a teachable moment and an important lesson to learn.

I found myself explaining a lot and giving them opportunities to redeem themselves. It was different for each one. With my oldest I had to give her ample time to eventually make the right choice and explain everything and at times told her that sometimes she just had to do what I asked her; with my middle child I found myself directing and guiding her bad behavior  to a better one and giving her options. Sometimes I would have to console her and let her know that I loved her regardless of the bad decisions she made; with my youngest I found that I did not have much to do; for he was always seeking to gratify me and make me happy, but I did have to correct his behavior by simply talking to him in a rational manner so he could see the reasoning behind the discipline and his own behavior, making sure he knew why not to repeat the behavior, and sealed it all with the affirmation that I loved him regardless of what he did. 

Home can be a holy place where we can worship our heavenly father and speak and study of Christ and his teachings especially when we are speaking with God regularly several times a day to help us know how to teach and love them because Christ is love. I promise that as you study about Christ with your family and on your own time that you will be filled with the power of Christ to love them regardless of what they are doing and that you will be better prepared to guide and lovingly discipline your littles. As you keep "your home a house of prayer, learning, and faith; a house of joyful experiences; a place of belonging; a house of God" (see  Jesus Christ is the Strength of Parents by .Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf April G.C. 2023), you will see the effects of the gospel in their lives especially in their decision making. If you are consistently making the effort, He will "bless and magnify your efforts"  (see  Jesus Christ is the Strength of Parents by .Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf April G.C. 2023).

It does not matter where we live. The home is a holy place when we love our kids, love our spouses, and love God with all our soul, heart and mind.  If we are teaching our children to love one another, love others, and love God our homes will be a holy place where they can thrive and come to know the love of Christ through you.