Three Important things to tell your kids about …

 In light of the things discussed in General conference this Saturday and Sunday and because of my own personal revelation, I have felt compelled to share three things that we need to let our kids know about the divine power of procreation. After much deliberation and pondering, I have narrowed down the three things parents do not tell their offspring about one of the most, if not the most, important thing they will do in their life. 

Though it is hard to figure out how to begin, to find the words to say, or even know ourselves what we can say or not say about it without fear of encouragement, it is necessary to let our kids know that it is normal, important, and one of the most wonderful and beautiful things they will ever do because if we do not they will find out for themselves in some of the most horrible ways possible. 

If there is something we are doing wrong as parents, it is not being honest and forthcoming and not trusting them to make decisions based on knowledge that we should be giving them and nothing else. Holding back and not telling them about the normality of those feeling and curiosities will lead them to seek information or do things in places they should not. Not explaining its importance and not learning at a young age that it is one of the most beautiful and sacred things they will ever do  creates a  society of adults that use it for the wrong reasons. 

We need to realize that our kids will inevitably have these feelings and will be curious to know all about it and find about it on their own through friends and the media. If we do not tell them that it is normal and treat it as a normal thing that they will have to come to know and even experience, we will surely put them in danger of learning about it through either porn or practice. We do not want that. Therefore it is incumbent that we do right by them and explain that the feelings and the curiosity is normal.

As we explain that it is normal to have those feelings and be curious about it, we must also put them at ease and keep a genuine and authentic tone in our voices and demonstrate a loving and caring attitude towards them and this new stage that they have come to in their life. 

Explain that it is part of our nature; explain that  they have entered a stage in their life in which they are preparing and dealing with these normal feelings to master them and use them to help them decide who they want to be with for the rest of their life and use that power to cultivate the love they feel for the person they will eventually come to love. 

The fruit of our labors is usually something meaningful to us. It is beyond our comprehension and our ability to truly understand its meaning and yet it is so valuable that we treasure it. It is the same with the power to bring about life. In this power to create another human being there is a sense of responsibility and a sense of purpose. We need to learn this for ourselves, so we must teach it to our kids. 

The same way that you care for the important things in your life such as your family, job or whatever it is that you are putting first, that’s the same importance you should give to this gift we have been given to use. This power is divine in nature. Two people are brought together by the same feelings that are required for the purpose of consuming that love through the action of which we are discussing. Is it not important to believe that this power to procreate deserves to be treated with care and caution because of this. 

It is important that we believe and come to know this, so that our kids can also come to understand it as we do. At first they will believe you and will repeat your words, they will repeat it often enough that they will too believe it. If, on the other hand, you do not believe this and they see doubts in your mind, they will too. To ensure that they come to give it the importance it needs, you will have to come to terms with its own importance and handle it with care and caution before you teach them to understand its purpose and significance. 

I hate to say even admit that I told my own kids how amazing and wonderful $3x is. Why? For the same reason that you would too. Fear. Fear that my kids would hear it and go do it. Fear that they would take that information and do with it what they wanted and even experience it for themselves. I did though. 

Needless to say, telling them that it was a beautiful experience did make them more curious and ask more questions and we took the time to answer and explain why it’s so amazing and why they couldn’t know everything about it till they were older. 

Like with many things, we tell them what they can know at the moment and then answer more questions as they grow up. Telling them straight away that this thing that they are curious about and experiencing  is a beautiful thing and that it is worth the wait will help them understand that it is not a bad thing and that the emotions they have are not bad either but instrumental in something special and in the making of themselves. 

It helps them realize that it is something to look forward to with the person of their choice and in the right circumstances. They need to hear and know that it is a good thing and need to know that it was created for us to use wisely, or they will always have this thought that it is a bad thing that no one ever really talks about because it is inherently bad. 

How can the power of creating life be bad? The answer is another blog, but the point is that the more we tell them that it is a good thing and that it is much better when done with the person they marry the less pain and problems they will have with it and it will be easier to talk about. 

This is one of the hardest things to do as a parent, and it is definitely a hard topic to talk about with your offspring. There is no replacement for earnest conversations in which you talk about your own experiences, as bad as they may be, that will teach your kids what you have learned for yourself. Whether you had a good or bad first experience with the act, it does not matter. 

Apart from explaining that it is normal, important, and amazing, at the end of the day the only thing that matters is that you are forthright with your kids; that you demonstrate that you care, and that you teach them that though you have made mistakes they do not have to because you already learned the lesson for them. Vulnerability and a deep sense of regret are the best teachers.